Today is the sort of day where I want to do nothing. I call it my snake day. That day where a snake is shedding it’s old skin. The whole day revolves around that removal. No eating. No traveling. Just twisting myself between rocks trying to find a way to scratch this itch. It’s the day where I lay in bed until 2 in the afternoon, and try to see how long I can go until I feel something.
It’s now seven o’clock at night and I still haven’t opened my mouth to say a single word. I’ve seen no one, and that was much of my own design.
Some days are just like this. Nothing is wrong, I just need this one day to disconnect from everything.
These sort of days used to worry me. They used to signal that I was about to slip into a depression. Now I know that if I fully sit in them, invest everything I have into this rest, it will lead to weeks upon weeks of focus and determination. But I have to embrace all of it. No half assing. No trying to get shit done.
Play video games. Watch Season 2 of Breaking Bad. Eat only toast, because it’s the easiest thing I have to make.
Sink into it willingly. Then, and only then, can I emerge with my new skin.