As an artist, enthusiasm is my medium. I love liking things, and I like a lot of things. But sometimes I get nervous about telling people I like their things. I worry that they think there is something attached to my appreciation.
But my appreciation is a payment for something already given. For time already spent. For ideas already shared.
In fairness though, the only reason I have that hesitation is because it’s how I often feel about someone liking something I’ve done. A feeling that I owe them something because they’ve told me they like my blog, my videos, me. That then I am suppose to do something to say thank you for that liking, but that liking is a thank you for an already existing thing. Just as I believe the subject of my liking owes me nothing, most people who are supportive of my shit rarely need me do anything with their like.
In the past, I’ve been a horrible liker of my own things. I haven’t promoted it as hard as a could. Been as proud of it as I could. Been as accepting of others praise as I could. And then I wonder why people aren’t giving me their appreciation as freely as I give mine when I constantly deny them one of MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ACTIVITIES. And really, deny myself as well.
Then I remember the wise words of John Green:
"…because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff… Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can’t-control-yourself love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘you like stuff.’ Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness."
Someday, I would like to have a career based solely on liking stuff.